- rain of tears

Gees

2007-11-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

Some people just talk without understanding the situation. In this society, life is liddat, its a selfish world. if u dunwanna do the harder stuffs, u come out and sort of the stuffs. Nobody has time to WAIT for you to come out and distribute work. If it was u, wont u take the easy stuffs out to do? comeon this is human nature. Its not about being a MAN or a PUSSY. I joined the group not to HELP others. who the fuck cares about others. i only help my girl and myself. and making plain accusations on us doesnt make u a bloody hero that acts like someone to speak out for ppl. we didnt take ur work and say we did it. wad we did was those undone from ur report. if u got a problem. fine expose it to SIM, ur girl will suffer together. i can act and be seen like a innocent young lad. but if u wan to make things bad i can make life worst. much worst my friend

lifes great

2007-05-11T03:01:00.000+08:00

life's great recently... with her around.. i feel.. great.. haha.. exams are around the corner.. shagggedddd... hafta study like dog again..

sometimes.. i just feel... fortunate to have u :)

return of the cue

2007-04-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

a long time since paradigm closed.... havent been putting my cue to any use since then.. suddenly got competition.. kinda confidence all gone... the thinking from last time and now.. super different.. haha... i guess its time either go for it... or just leave it as it is... POOL.. hahaha..

paradigm

2007-03-18T04:29:00.000+08:00

gone with the wind... paradigm is officially closed down now... memories from there... 3 years ago. 4 15 year old lousy poolers came into paradigm to pool... now 2007 march.. we grew up there.. with more ppl... 18 years old now... pool now got standard alr.. bonded with the place alr.. our standard town meeting place... our standard counting down or events celebration place.. 3 new year and xmas countdown there... many things started from there too... relationships, friendships... now sort of all leaving .. who noes whats next... maybe ten years later we might meet at some national competition.. haha.. god bless all... but memories will stay forever with me =) paradigm pawns! haha

meaningful statements

2007-03-16T03:59:00.000+08:00

i made an agreement of peaceful coexistence with time; neither he pursues me, nor i run from him, one day we will find each other.

many people lose the small joys in search for the big happiness.

life can be understood only looking behind
but can only be lived looking ahead.

nothing can be taught to a man, but its possible to help him find an answer within himself.

new skin

2007-03-15T03:04:00.000+08:00

wee.. got a new skin... haha... simple... bright coloured.. live life the way you want it =)
make your day the brightest starting from within you

new theme

2007-02-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

Shot through the heart as I lay there alone
In the dark through the heart
Its all part of this game that we call love

Theme for a skin-
lol.. hard to bring out

i did it

2007-01-28T23:37:00.000+08:00

i made the first.. or perhaps the last step.. the day.. probably the one i'll rmb for quite some time for now.. maybe.. its good.. for me.. hahas... life's tiring now.. sadly.. projects piling.. though not that difficult.. but racking my brains is a big turn off for now... new year is coming.. .hope the year turns out fine for all of us..

been wanting to change my blogskin... but no inspirations... no time to do also.. lol... i nid PHOTOSHOP CS2 omg... my new brushes all not compatitable with PS 7.0 ... sian AHHH... TAY PASS ME ASAP CAN?!?!!?

flashback momento

2007-01-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

as we grow up.. different perspections of life appear... you're the bread... family the meat.. fren's are all the added stuffs.. tomato.. lettuce.. and all the SAUCES.. there u have.. ur sumptious BURGER.. now.. enjoy the burger.. because.. its ur LIFE.. enjoy YOUR LIFE my frens.. come on.. u live just once.. live it to the fullest... do things that make u happy.. unhappy things THROW it aside.. FORGET IT.. cast it away like you're casting the fishing line.. after casting.. you hear the "pomp" sound once touching water.. CUT THE LINE.. there u go.. ur unhappy moments .. casted away.. if worrying or being moody or being angry etc.etc can make ur unhappy stuffs become HAPPY.. den i seriously have no comments or objections bout u doing all that.. HOWEVER!! 99.5% of things are NOT.. so.. listen to me.. CAST IT AWAY... aLL AWAY...

though life in school hasnt been that great to me now.. but IM PERFECTLY HAPPY still.. i've got my bunch of crazy frens that i'll be there for no matter WAD.. hahaha.. so wad if i am being CRITICISED in sch... so wad if i look like a LONER to my classmates... i'm there to STUDY for my future... hahas..

went to watch Night At The Museum today.. not bad... funny show.. haha.. enjoyed it... and im gonna FREAKING GET MY BLOODY N80 ASAP.. i so NEED it.. hahas.. alrights.. projects are piling.. have to go do it now

find me not

2007-01-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

start of the new year.. jus 2nd week.. but things aint going so smoothly fer me.. things will change i hope .. wont be having fone of these few days.. kinda shutting myself from outside world for the time being.. anything call my house or leave a msg at my tag.. will be online still though..

tired... life's real tiring now .. as it may seems.. i think the end of it is finally here.. im letting go.. or u can say giving up... im too tired to carry on.. ppl around me will know.. im not gonna continue doing the things i did before.. im real sick n tired of it.. sorry.. to myself for unable to doing wad i wanted to do.. but yea.. i think i really hafta take a real long break.. real long...

school's been stressful... business math is the hardest yet paired with the lousiest lecturer.. cool huh.. i'll just have to rely on my own for math.. back to basics..

its time

2007-01-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

When you first learned to ride a bike, there came a moment when your mom or dad had to let go of the bike and let you go forward on your own. It was a moment of fear, exhilaration and independence. Today, life will give you that same feeling when you finally let go of something you've been watching over carefully. This could be a person, a relationship or a project. You have to realize that things are fine on their own, and you should step out of the picture.

Happy New Year

2007-01-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

lol.. Happy New YEAR! hahas.. nothing beats being with your brothers... cheers together .. drink.. drank.. drunk.. hahahahahaha... but still.. only can do that on occasions =) ... 2 tiring days.. lol.. not enough slp and tmr got SCHOOL.. shag... been almost a year or more that i haven been waking up early for sch.. sian... anyway.. new year.. new ADVENTURE.. lol.. I WANNA DRIVE ASAP!!

new year SOON

2006-12-30T16:50:00.000+08:00

ages since i blogged.. hahas.. thought tmr wont have the time to blog.. hahas.. looking back at 2006.. lol.. another YEAR... damned.. finally im near to 18 YEARS OLD... hahas.. 6 of us still together.. though small thing but definitely a great thing.. hahas.. we've grown.. especially this year.. seperated into different schools.. i think life wouldnt be so great that we'll all be stuck at same school forever and do same old stupid but fun things together.. haha.. year by year pass by.. been through ups and super downs this year.. hahas.. relationship factors... this was my most emotional year.. lol.. omg i think bout it and its like WTF SO FAST TIME PAST... last year new year eve we were at paradigm and behind dhoby ghout mrt right? hahas... and i still rmb msging mich bout yearly confessions thingy.. hahahaha... omg... time really flies.. and now my hair is kinda long now.. HAHAHA... time to get a nice neat hair cut for the upcoming year... year by year time goes.. if nxt year still can take license at 18 instead of 21... by Next year's New year's eve... I'LL BE FREAKING DRIVING.. lol... i LOVE CARS.. sexy car > sexy hot babe... hahahahahaha... i just hope the new year to be a great one.. for all of us =) and for my best bud too.. mich.. hahaha... school's starting soon... 9.30 to 12.30.. SHAG!! hafta go back to secondary school timing.. wake at 7.. lol.. planning to rent a house with classmates at clementi or sth.. hahahahas... 2006 was a bummers... 2007 will be SUPERB .. i know it.. hahahahaha...

" we grow grew grown... wadeva... we changed.. more sensible? yea... if things are lidat.. so be it.. if relationship between some are that way.. den just keep it that way..
den.. was it becoming sensible or we are giving up? " quoted from cus's blog...

thats something that will set me to thinking for a while =)

i wish

2006-12-13T02:11:00.000+08:00

i wished i could read a person's mind... so very wish.. lol.. fixed my modem.. running at 4x faster speed nw.. i guess.. lol.. been awhile since i last updated.. life's getting pretty busy nowadays.. after genting almost have plans bout doing wad also... xmas is coming! everyone CELEBRATE!! hahaahas...

as it rains

2006-11-24T02:19:00.000+08:00

cold rainy night -
e water jus flows down e cheek
as i sing
sing to the memories
the days
when everything seemed so fine
while im here now
singing e song of letting go
to break free
away from e prison of my own
e prison of sadness

an end to the mess

2006-11-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

that just is the exact lyrics for me at this point of my life.. Sorry.. but im at a lost for words or wad i should do now.. to jus try to keep myself frm thinking bout u? though near impossible.. or is this another spite.. though i doubt so.. u contradict ur words and im totally lost.. i asked u rmbed e words i wrote on ur hands..but its over anyway.. u said u do and said do you think its ok by saying its over.. wad u meant by that.. jus wad u meant.. then.. i went to find u.. told u in person.. u told me we cant be together.. ok.. i didnt cherish e chance i had.. but.. wads ur feelings for me now.. i really wanna understand u.. u keep things to urself.. now.. seems we're avoiding each other.. even coincidentally meet outside things become so bloody awkward.. has our relationship come to a stage where ending is e only choice?.. have u really given up on me?..

i remember everything...
e first time i held ur hands at princess road crossing to take a cab to ps to watch infection.
every words of urs.. i took in seriously.. i tried my best to get everything u wished..
i cared for you.. you know it...
always woke earlier to go dip the towel in boilin water for u at e hotel so tht u wun nid to step on e cold toilet floor...
searched almost everyshop tht sells aasics shoes.. ur t.t shoes..

now things have become so cold.. and e feeling is unbearable..
i jus .. really.. dunno.. wad to do..

Baby 对不起

2006-11-22T22:49:00.002+08:00

听到我的电话响了一生就暂停
会不会是你我总怀疑
因为这原因心情不稳定
我们之间的问题是我不相信你
敏感又多心怕你变了心
因为爱你害怕失去你
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
自从那天分手后停不住泪滴
想念一个人
能忘记自己让我爱你什么都愿意
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
如果能在遇见你把你抱紧
从此步分离决不放弃我要告诉你
os:baby i'm sorry

things are hard

2006-11-21T01:23:00.000+08:00

its hard to find someone u love and loves you too
its harder to sustain a relationship to make it last

but

its hardest is to forget and let go the person u love

i like you

2006-11-18T02:31:00.000+08:00

one chanced missed
one's happiness gone
i missed it
and i seriously hate myself
for that

3 years
for 3 years
i was being a guy
tht didnt dare to xpress
my thoughts and feelings
for fear it might be negative

3 years later
now..

i serously bloody hate myself for not daring
to xpress myself
god kill me plz
dun make me undergo this torture anymore

i just love her and there is nth
anything i can do to make her feel e same
again...
small little things i did for u
not noticable
but once added up
you'll see how much
i really like u
chances for me are near zero
but i'll remain the same

i once wrote with my finger on ur hand
" i like you "
it still is the same
now..
as always

too close for comfort

2006-11-15T00:58:00.000+08:00

are there system restore for humans?.. regrets are things tht make one feel like standing on e edge of e roof and feel the wind.. i jus realised e biggest regret in my life.. total lost.. i lost .. and im lost.. wad next.. i dun wanna lose her.. even as a fren.. im so fucked... can somebody drive to my hse and jus bang me..

I never meant the things I said
To make you cry
Can I say I'm sorry

It's hard to forget

And yes I regret
All these mistakes
I don't know why you're leaving Me
But I know you must have your reasons
There's tears in your eyes
I watch as you cry
But it's getting late

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
Guess I'll never know

Remember when we scratched our names into the sand
And told me you loved me
But now that I find
That you've changed your mind
I'm lost for words
And everything I feel for you
I wrote down on one piece of paper
The one in your hand
You won't understand
How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
Guess I'll never know

All this time you've been telling me lies
Hidden in bags that are under your eyes
And when I asked you I knew I was right

But if you turn your back on me now
When I need you most
But you chose to let me down

Won't you think about what you're about to do to me
And back down...

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
(Yeh yeh yeh)

What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
I guess I'll never know...

e best things to describe me are songs.. confiding in them.. and releasing myself thru them.. smile? tht word will be sth torn out frm my dictionary for the time being.. i jus hope.. everything's well for u cause i didnt noe i caused disappointment to u either.. life's a joke.. and every joke will come to an end.. end of e misery

let me go

2006-11-14T14:11:00.000+08:00

twice bitten thrice cried.. somehow.. i have alot to type but i cant think of how to type.... e disappointment i have on myself is enough to make myself stab e knife in my own heart... so god jus hafta pick me to do feel these stuff.. i've no strength to curse n swear or even blame anyone for this xcept myself.. im like a lifeless soul now.. drifting... leave me alone for a few days alrights.. i'll be alright

Guys drinks to forget about the girl...
Girls drinks to think back about that guy..

When guys are in love, they become
poorer
But when girls are in love, they become
prettier

Guys can forget, but cannot forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot forget..

Guys care most about the quantity of
love...
But girls care most about the quality of
love..

Guys break-up when they feel love from
another Girl...
Girls break-up when they feel
Separation from her man...

Guys feels curious towards all girls...
Girls feel curious towards the guys who
are Interested in her..

When guys are heartbroken, they try to
forget the girl by going out with other
girls...
When girls are heartbroken, they try to
find his Characteristics from other
guys...

Guys wishes to be her first love....
And girls wishes to be his last love...

when it all falls apart

2006-11-12T03:22:00.000+08:00

Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart

" PEople Change " i heard this from 2 ppl today.. lol.. but well.. changes sometimes are so great that i cant adapt to it... reality is harsh.. a perfect nice person can turn into a plotting evil one.. well.. cant read e future..

having hols now.. swimming starts tmr.. woohoo.. finally.. long awaited day.. hahahha.. my REN SHEN ZHUAN LIE DIAN!! WAHAHAHA

i dont know you

2006-11-11T13:36:00.000+08:00

thoughts of u frequently in my mind.. but .. i think.. i dont know you.. at all... u're complex.. ive tried to think at e brighter side but i cant.. maybe i think too much as i always do.. but i cant help it.. who am i to u.. or what am i to u.. on e verge of bonkers... and i just cant help it.. im so fucked..

training started... gonna take my mind off everything... for this few months.. hopefully get a job also.. im gonna swim to my light.. to find e purpose of my existence.. lol.. thts emo..

oh and The Covenant was nice.. sort of dragonball anime.. hahahaha.. but its cool... yeap

stand by me

2006-10-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

im back! hahs.. stand by me by oasis is nice.. heard it frm cus's blog..

craved,missed,thoughts,loved,liked,kissed,
hugged,held,saw,looked,worried.

i did everything, to jus see a glimpse of light.

e light tht shone on me when i was in darkness

u lighted up my life

its gonna be a great song afterall :)

a step back

2006-10-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

take a step back.. look at e bigger picture..

its been awhile.. browse thru old files today.. saw old conversations .. somehow they were saved.. hahas.. so my english aint that good.. nt gd enough to comment on ppl.. lol.. i TaLk lIdDaT Last tImeX wOrz.. hahaha.. ok.. thts pretty craps.. a few years makes big changes.. lol..

was kinda happy today though.. lol.. put my msn nick- its e lonely season .. and surprisingly.. a fren.. sort of pen pal.. but we dun xchange mails.. jus talk online sometimes.. been awhile since i last talked to him.. like maybe 6 months? and he initiated a convo.. said.. heys burntman ( thts wad he call me) .. damned u hurt?.. " hahas.. gd frens are always around.. jus that i dun notice.. damned.. lol.. did some catching up.. hahas.. he's 22.. gave me pretty gd advices and always encouraged me.. lol.. even though jus pen pals.. but.. felt close.. like long lost buds.. lol.. feels great.. lol

i cant

2006-10-24T02:29:00.000+08:00

i cant express myself =((

bad expressor

hrms ok i noe.. something came into my mind..
if telling a girl i like her i shud go upfront and say :" damned.. i so like u.. " LOL craps.. EOA

a lost hope

2006-10-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

jus praying that my appeal gets thru successfully.. life gets pretty shag nowadays..

i dunno wad im thinking.. but.. i jus cant stop thinkin of it.. k sounds abit cliche.. but.. sometimes.. its nt me that wan to think bout you jus tat things bout u jus keeps appearing.. hahs.. coincidental world.. sometimes i jus hope maybe like a note is left somewhr for me. sometimes i really wanna read ur mind.. cause.. not knowing e answer and still hoping for something.. yea it sucks.. hanging in suspense.. and sometimes i myself dun even noe wad im thinking is right.. i tot last time you knew wad i was thinking.. but in e end i found out u wun noe till i say..

a failure in relationships , im not a person tht noes how to xpress my feelings to someone i like.. i cant catch hints or wadsoever from a girl cause the only way i noe is that she tells me.. hahas.. might sound absurd but its true in life that in front of a girl u really like, i'm not myself.. lol.. not the same.. hahas.. u tend to stutter , dunno wad u're talking about and trying e best to make her smile but u realise u're not doing anything funny to make her smile and while thinking of wad to say next, she thinks that u dun wanna talk and the awkward silence comes..

i enjoyed walking with u, even not talking,, silence thruout, i enjoyed walking because of ur presence beside me.. i enjoyed lookin at u even though i dont dare to look into someone's eyes, be it close buddies / family.. e moment i look at someone's eyes my eyes wander off .. hahas.. i wanna protect you i wanna know you i wanna be with you..

but well.. reality is harsh.. somewhere in deep deep deep in my heart / brain.. i noe.. i really noe.. somethings cant happen, no matter how u want it or how u hope u have it... and knowing that im not at all good looking nor do i have a lean/muscular body though im dying for them.. maybe only at the most.. my height is higher than average? .. true as the saying goes look at the insides of a person not the outside.. but well.. i can say.. 99% of humans will use the outlook of a person as the first impression.. in another words.. the face / body of a person decides almost everything on the first look.. and almost all girls want their other half to be tall,dark,handsome, mr nice guy.

o lvls coming for my buds.. hope everything goes well for them..
shun shun li li~
hahas

and damnit.. my sun burn hurts.. lol..
anyone game for another round of tan on weds?? hehehe

well..

2006-10-15T01:54:00.000+08:00

Waiting for the other person to make the first move is bad. Taking control is good.

If you respect your own feelings, you will teach other people to do the same.

decode this rhwfy =D

i LOVE BONELESS CHICKEN LEG STUFFED WITH SHITAKE MUSHROOMS WITH MASHED POTATO ON THE BASE.. yum yum

what hurts the most

2006-10-13T02:46:00.000+08:00

he: whats wrong?
she: nothing
he: is it your dad?
she: no
-silence-
she: do you think bout the future?
she: what do you see?
he: what do you see?
she: im serious
he: [deep breath] you
he: i see you
- smiles from the girl and some kisses -
he: what do you see?
- girl gets off car without reply

the guy drives away thinking of her
only to noe that he drifted abit far away from the lane
he loses control
car crashes
flips a few times
- guy passed away

she didnt had a chance to tell him
that she saw him too..

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

love is mysterious yet miraculous..
it can bring a person to heaven
while on the other hand bring another person to hell
the hell of pain
deep pain
in within
the heart
that is uncurable =(
its hard to like
harder to love
but its hardest
to FORGET

full house

2006-10-12T03:01:00.000+08:00

It wasn't possible, so I believed it wasn't true
Me loving you, these words don't even make sense
I'm probably just jealous, I guess I'm getting lonely
I hid my feelings before but I just can't do it anymore

Maybe we are not suited to each other
It would be good if we are just friends
From one to ten, we never agree on anything
How can we have a relationship?
People say we won't be able to do it
I've been surrounded by those words and I don't want to be anymore.

(Bridge)
I didn't realize how I felt about you,
Why couldn't I see? It was right in front of me
That whole time you were right next to me
Why is it now that I finally see that it is love?

(Chorus)
I think I love you
I think I love you that's how it seems
Cause I miss you
Cause I miss you when you're not around
I can't do anything except think about you
If I look at how things are I know

I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you, I didn't realize it but
Now I need you, somehow deep in my heart it grew
Now all I want to do is take care of you

nice lyrics of a song from full house

gees

2006-10-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

i stood there with the sun shining on my back.. looking upon my own long shadow due to the orange setting sun.. i felt loneliness.. the feeling aint good.. daunted upon myself tht i'm alone.. in this huge and wide world.. for a moment.. i felt alone.. the breeze blowing upon my face.. the sounds of the tides crashing upon the shores.. i knew it.. its the place.. somewhere i can find my ownself.. a place to let me able to reach out to my deep within.. i was talking.. in my mind.. with another ' ben ' living deep within me.. the true , real ben.. i talked to him.. myself..

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

regrets

2006-10-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

wad for regretting a decision when b4 making it u already noe u WILL regret in future.. lol.. be like me.. make a decision.. dun regret at it because u noe at that time.. u MADE the decision at ur own will.. so dun scold urself.. and dun blame urself... cause.. u will one day get tired of scolding urself.. and im already tired.. so.. dun regret =)

human nature are alike to a worm.. those worms that curl into a circle when they feel threatened..
it takes a long time to unwind ur self open again after u've curled into the own darkness of urself.. once bitten twice shy.. but after the bite.. u take triple or even four times the time to unwind urself back into the normal state.. or even worst.. u can never unwind back into ur normal own self.. cause.. u've turned wary of the ppl around u.. u dun really trust anyone around u.. u become self obsessed.. lols.. so well.. humans change and u'll never noe wad lies ahead of u.. a disaster? an unexpected fortune? so.. be urself.. do wad u wan to.. cause u nvr noe one day u might not have the chance to do it again =x

i pray to god u'd gimme one more chance girl [ erm.. meaningful lyrics ]

lols

2006-10-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

Someone is waiting for you to do or say something that you have been putting off for way too long. Are you afraid of their reaction? Are you intimidated by their reputation? Toss all your concerns out the window -- there is no need to hide your true intentions or desires. You need to open up and move things forward without any hesitation. Even if they don't go in the direction you want them to. You will get satisfaction just getting something going.

sad sstory

2006-09-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

read a story from shiwei's blog.. gees.. really is a sad story.. but well.. i guess the morale of the story.. is to cherish the opportunities that fate and destiny has given u.. dun do things u noe u will regret.. tell her how much she means to u.. tell her wad u really feel.. because u nvr noe... that she's been thinking the same as u =/ .. and yea.. that kinda feeling.. aint good.. aint good at all ..

supposed to slp

2006-09-30T01:08:00.000+08:00

backache... supposed to slp.. hahs... some things on my mind... is this the irony of life.. u gain some things , u lose some.. been listening to praise songs.. another name for those songs played in churches.... kinda nice.. relaxing.. hahs.. u noe sometimes.. if u have something on ur mind... better to speak it up... although keeping it to urself to u seems to the best choice .. maybe u wouldnt want to incur ur problems to the close ones around u... but.. the way u're handling things .. its making ppl worry.. so well.. wadever happens.. there are friends tht will be there to support u up... we are ur arms of combat.. the combat against all the problems whichever u are facing =) thats wad xillers are for =)

wtf man wtf

2006-09-29T03:54:00.000+08:00

omg... i seriously cant imagine how the BLOODY HELL he get into SIM. basically his ENGLISH SUCKS LIKE DOG.... i didnt want to say till he's that bad.. but WTF man.. the command of english he's using is like A BLOODY PRIMARY ONE KID.. OR EVEN WORST.. what the fuck.. did u just fail english or u bloody dun have a sense in the language english.. wake up ur idea please.. ur english really sucks... seriously.. i cross my heart and wanna tell u that ur english is the worst i ever seen.. and u're a SINGAPOREAN.. wtf man.. ur 10 years of school didnt seem to have benefitted u.. u truly sucks bloody !@#E)!E$!@)# i dunno wad to describe u also already.. zzz..

presentation day

2006-09-28T02:07:00.000+08:00

kinda cocked up presentation today... sianed.. lol.. after that went to fernando with shiwei.. super budjet sia.. lol.. both add together only got 60 bucks.. so ordered 2 jugs.. and was really like sipping it at the end.. haha.. played pool and had fun.. haha.. soon la.. nxt time.. open $138 martell.. hahas.. kinda broke now though .. lol.. oh.. bought a brown leather converse shoe on tues.. nice but kinda tight... my heels were kinda aching and had trouble walking.. lol.. not used to the new shoes.. anyway.. I LOVE IT. haha nxt should be a jacket.. heehehehehe

- u make the loneliness easy to bear

bad day

2006-09-26T00:29:00.000+08:00

bad day at school... stupid econs lecturer.. came back home.. fire burns.. gees.. hate mondays.. anyway.. preparing for my presentation on weds.. if lessons can be conducted at home.. damned good.. lol.. i wanna shop now.. jacket / shoe / watch.. and if possible.. jeans.. hahs.. spending money fast ... hafta control abit..

valuable quarrel

2006-09-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

if only life is like nowadays... i mean weekends.. peaceful.. sunny sundays.. listening to jazz songs.. enjoying my life.. no worries.. at night go pubbing with buddies.. yea.. hahs.. and another side.. im starting to doubt myself.. sometimes.. if its nt possible.. clinging on and hurting either ownself or other isnt gd.. lol.. maybe god wants me to really feel what's loneliness.. den one day.. i will learn to appreciate ppl beside me.. tht day.. sort of a small quarrel with my bud.. den went to slp.. tht night.. couldnt slp.. keep thinking bout e quarrel.. hahs.. den around sunrise.. i finally gave myself a smile.. and went to slp peacefully.. reason : i wouldnt think so much if he wasnt such a gd buddy.. so.. upon tht small quarrel.. i gained something.. i learned that.. i was DAMNED lucky to have da 5 buddies with me.. that night.. i suddenly was damned afraid to lose a fren.. and yea.. damned afraid.. lol.. and e pessimistic side came when i tot of tht.. like nxt time see each other dun talk.. or even hate each other.. blabla.. but well.. in e end... things turned out nt as bad.. thru it.. i learned a valuable lesson.. lesson to cherish.. =) afterall.. we are XILLERS... wahahahaha.. and btw.. we will soon be called.. 6 Fishermans -.- hehehe

new skin

2006-09-24T13:06:00.000+08:00

did a new skin last night.. sudden urge to do one.. hahas.. well.. here it is =) .. and jazz music is nice.. lol.. went pubbing last night with buds.. not bad.. was at a street between chinatown and clarke quay.. but had some trouble finding it at first.. took us like near 45 minutes to find it.. walked up and down the whole of clarke quay.. lol.. had fun in the end .. lol.. pub name : fernando if im nt wrong.. lol.. and that street had a nice ambience.. feels like not in singapore.. or isit finally we will be entering the world of night spots in singapore.. hahas.. saw many pubs thr.. some with nice names.. Archipelago.. lol.. and one more i forgot.. but well.. shud be going there soon again? i hope.. and this time.. WITH MONEY.. hahas.. geez.. its a sunny sunday again.. lol.. tune in to Class 95 FM on sundays =) superb

strange

2006-09-21T23:44:00.000+08:00

strange as it seems.. hahs.. everytime my fone is out of batt or its in my room while im at com or its in silent mode and away from me.. whenever i am inaccessible to my fone.. whenever i go to it.. i see ur msges.. hahs.. isit fate pushing us away frm each other.. or.. we are jus parallel lines.. though perfect lines as it seems.. it nvr interacts.. but.. we noe.. we'll always be beside each other =)

bored

2006-09-18T01:59:00.000+08:00

all my life by K-Ci & JoJo is nice =) meaningful and sweet lyrics.. hahs... i would prefer a quiet school life.. jus go to sch and do my stuffs.. no one bothering bout me.. talk to me.. however......... project works nid to be done.. group ones.. sians.. i dun like to talk at sch.. wierd.. lol.. seem to be out of place also.. jus different frequencies.. hahs.. perhaps thats better.. lesser involvement.. lesser troubles

airport madness

2006-09-17T07:27:00.000+08:00

i love the feeling at the airport... the feeling of going overseas... the feeling of checking in the customs... walking into the plane through the walkway.. sitting the coach overseas.. wakin up damned early jus nt to be late for the tour group... even though u're like super tired.. hahas.. i guess will be quite some time b4 i take a plane again... well... i always remember trips overseas.. nice songs today at the airport.. sentimental.. classical.. so soothing.. memories frm those songs .. some old songs i dig at when i was like in primary sch.. hahs..10 years later.. cus & feng.. same place yea.?? hahas.. 17 september. 2016 =)
DJ Sammy - 911 Remix.. kinda sad from the young girl's words..

Taken with my webcam.. hahas.. im at LAS VEGAS

k and now im at raffles place.. beside stamford raffles.. LOL

e brand MarBennous

2006-09-17T02:49:00.000+08:00

so.. an all new brand has been borned - MarBennous . a brand name that carries hopes and dreams of 2 normal human being who is damned interested in design but do not have any proper training in it. It was all thoughts and inspirations from the 2 . Who noes.. one day this brand might turn FAMOUS! hahas.. however.. have to be realistic sometimes. success dont come overnight. working hard is the basic thing to do, and to believe in thyself. Thus. the name MarBennous is borned.. hahs.. it came from a word Marvellous , Then the 2 persons' name. Marcus - Benjamin . so the first 3 letters of the 2 guys were included in the name.. as for nous at the back... well... dunno wad to xplain for them so made up like NERVOUS.. the nous somehow links to it.. hahas... thus.. the name was borned! HAHAHAHA

trainman

2006-09-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

some love is so sweet its like fairytale and u look at the sweetness and u smile aimlessly .. lol... kiss from a rose by seal is a nice song.. and old one.. hahas.. BABY~~ i compare u to a kiss from a rose on the grey~~

happenings

2006-09-08T00:18:00.000+08:00

well.. some nice songs recently i heard over the radio and on mtv.. Iris by ronan keating.. I'm not missing you by stacy orrico.. and a few more but cant think bout them offhand.. hahs.. met a pri sch teacher today.. and she was like damn enthu in asking me into her church.. yea and i was like rushing for time but stayed to chat with her.. hahs.. oh.. and i saw a couple break up 2 days ago.. oh man.. tht guy was kinda sad.. i can feel it even though sitting beside.. lol.. keep seeing sad stuffs and listening to sad songs and reading sad articles frm the mag.. lol.. but nah.. im numb to those.. studies are my greatest priority now.. makes me keep my thinkings off from unnecessary stuffs.. hahas.. [ turn off your mobile phone and do something else thats best done alone . Enjoy the quiet ]
this sentence.. somehow.. i feel its me now.. hahs.. im starting to detest my favourite hobby.. POOL.. lol... life is getting better.. im climbing up .. the stairs of life.. hahs.. i fell back a few steps qutie sometime ago.. but im nw back at where i fell.. and im going forward.. though u're still hovering around me... like a spiritual strength and i mean.. PEARLY!! LOL.. i think pearly rocks.. RIGHT XIAOJAR?! its a drink though... not a girl... faints.. and OH YA.. took some real cool pics at tay's house.. LOL..

nice right ?! ... lol.. ok so we were pretty bored.. cause we messed up tay's wardrobe.. lol.. anyway.. getting a lappy soon.. wooo .. can design shirts and craps everywhere.. wahahahaha..
jus a few craps i did recently... it looks like abit small though.. but well.. heck.. aHaha

This is HeartLine..

This is Coth.. [ designed exactly to Jas's taste! .. Cookie + Gothic = Coth ]
Erm jus some flowers.. but e shirt template aabit too wide for the design..

THIS idea came from my surrender shirt.. u noe the back ?? those tht noe me shud noe bout tht shirt.. lol.. jus put my head at the back of the shirt.. looks something like tht.. HAHAHA
This is a Design for a top.. yea.. Vintage was the idea.. but jas said it looked more like Gothic... lol.. anyway.. TAY SAID THIS DESIGN SUCKS.. Bloody asshole.. LOL

This is a drawing of the necklace i wanna get.. yea.. illustrations abit blur.. but roughly can see the idea yea.. its drawn on a RECEIPT at pepperlunch.. hahahaha...

News Report : Town is mass flooded with pretty girls and hot guys! so be sure to get a glimpse of them for this period of time [ the sept hols ] LOL... grab them while stocks last.. hahaha!! SHIWEI ARE U LOOKING AT THIS ?!?!?!

airport muggers

2006-09-03T18:57:00.000+08:00

lol... airport mugging is cool... quiet and nice SCENERY.. LOL.. studied with cus and feng and feng's cousins.. oh man.. craps.. they r crappy but funny.. lol.. really DROP.. omg.. lol.. and im surprised at 21ST CENTURIES GIRLS.. lol.. take initiative like its their job.. cool.. brave sia.. omg.. lol... tht guy shud be like WHAT THE FUCK?!!??!?! lol.. anyway.. familiar faces at e airport.. damn.. and studied pretty well for e night.. though kinda tired.. hahs.. cus u shud cut ur hair =x SERIOUSLY

You asked me a question but the answer lies in you
U asked me if i love u but
Do you remember
why i walked on water for u
Do you remember
My first steps on the moon
Have u ever wondered
why i gave three wishes to u

2006-08-28T02:08:00.000+08:00

we fought we cried we laughed we smiled we held we talked we screamed ... now we part we bid we turn and we die.. LoL.. craps

yes u are

2006-08-28T01:10:00.000+08:00

YES U ARE YES U ARE YES U ARE YES U ARE YES U ARE YES U ARE

friends

2006-08-24T00:38:00.001+08:00

the big word FRIENDS

F uck care when u're sad .
R ip the happiness from u .
I dentical to ASSHOLES .
E verlasting HATE .
N ever True .
D ig ur grave .
S lap ur face .

hahas.. nah im nt having anything wrong with friends.. just that this few days.. i'm alone.. but its nt a bad thing.. i felt gd.. hahs.. so now i shall xplain another BIG WORD brothers

B e there for u when u need them .
R ip away the sad moments of ur life .
O n and steady .
T ill the end of time .
H ave great time when 2gether .
E ternal brotherhood .
R oar together .
S worn BROTHERS .

actually i dunno if i had any

my resolution

2006-08-22T21:38:00.000+08:00

my resolution is to study!!! i go sch not to slack nt to slp nt to talk nt to play nt to look at girls... recently been kinda quiet for me.. nt going out with friends nt even going out.. jus at home.. everybody's busy with their thing thangs.. hahas.. my tests are coming up too.. studies keep me occupied.. and im getting COOLER!! lol.. blabla said this though ... hahs.. mum's birthday coming.. hafta save money get sth nice for her =x ... MARCUS she wans ur present !! lol.. everything's getting peaceful suddenly.. its gd.. hahs.. being alone is great sometimes.. u just think alot.. and u will be surprised tht ur inner self is so GREAT! hahs.. i wan PEARLY =((((

e Stellar Memory -
etherion -
sinclair -

ORASHION SEIs

it just seemed as though it was yesterday.. i could rmb every single small detail.. hahs.. im still hooked in it..

its hard.. but i will do it

2006-08-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

sometimes i jus think tht nah im too young for serious relationships.. den ok... a few hours later at home.. opposite things happen.. hahs.. its hard to forget .. i dun tink i will ever .. memories of people once in my life tht had a great importance will nvr be forgotten.. and i dun wanna forget.. im sad but im happy =)( hahs.. mess mugging recently.. bring all my focus onto studies.. and its turning up well.. im understanding my studies btr.. and hafta get prepared for tests coming up.. if there was only one wish on earth for me.. i will wanna read people's mind.. by looking at them i noe wad are they thinking.. wun tht be great.. to understand ur friends and foes.. gonna mug tmr !! woots.. lol

was it u

2006-08-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

was tht u in orange

i love sundays

2006-08-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

i love sundays ~~ open the windows.. on the radio.. Class 95 FM .. den the weather.. cooling.. and u just relax doing all the things u wanna do.. might be just even sitting down with ur family watching tv.. or jus sitting thr reading a mag while listenin to radio.. geex.. tht is the best kind of sundays.. SUN!! WHEN ARE WE GOING SENTOSA AGAIN?!!?!?!

You Are An ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

lol.. my personality =x ..

do it here
What's Your Personality Type?

come on

2006-08-13T01:07:00.000+08:00

its 21st century.. wads thr to be shy about telling ur loved ones tht u love them.. or even if u have a crush on someone or in love with him/her . if he/she doesnt noe.. LET THEM NOE .. dun regret when its too late.. nothing wrong in loving someone .. jus dun love them for the wrong reasons yea.. and i love my books.. LOL .. yea.. i got great buddies.. great family.. shiwei once asked me if u see 2 buddies of urs dropped into the sea.. who will u save first.. lol.. standard answer is try to save both right.. but the most ideal answer came from him.. i would jump down and die together.. lol.. so well.. dun make decisions that u KNOW u will regret later..

..

2006-08-12T02:04:00.000+08:00

jus a change again in skin.. din change much.. jus background.. well somehow a reason tht wasnt told to me made me change the skin.. hafta defer my ns later .. sians.. im bored.. life is boring.. argh.. 3 powerful love songs uploaded =/

once again

2006-08-12T00:51:00.000+08:00

hais .. slow poison is crawling in still.. still finding my 1/4 .. e heart is living in seclusion .. a skin i made =/ kinda sad.. time heals all wounds.. im hoping everything turns out alright.. i jus really hope ur doing well and ok.. i'll be there if there are any problems though i hope there wun be any probs.. hahs... click on the pictures on the right side to navigate.. ben u're strong u can go thru this.. =)

bored

2006-08-09T01:24:00.000+08:00

getting kinda bored recently.. seems like only got pool... and getting tired of it.. time to get a new hobby

cant help it

2006-08-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

though its over and thrs no use thinking bout it.. but still .. cant help it.. its still rainin.. on my eyes.. and bleeding in my heart whenever i see those pics.. haiss.. god let me get over it completely plz.. though its kinda hard and impossible.. but well .. adidas : impossible is nothing .. i nid e strength ! ARGHHHHHh... is sentimental a gd thing? oh man.. its driving me nuts.. can someone plunge in a knife on me... or let me be in coma for like 1 month.. bring me away from all these shit and craps.. i tot i could laugh my way through ... i can when im around my buds.. but alone at home omg.. they pain in my heart ! wtf im really feeling the pain.. ahhhhhh ... murder me ... let me lose my memories.. just let me be... im mad.. fucked up ben

dreams

2006-08-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

dreams and goals.. they differ by just abit.. jus that dreams is wad u fantasize.. goals is wad u wanna reach.. humans tend to aim far.. example.. step 8 is the completion of ur life.. which is retirement with lots of money and happy with family.. bla bla bla.. well.. u are now in step 1.. ppl will aim step 8 and say i wanna reach there.. ok thats good.. but .. if u dun go to step 2.. how are u going to ever reach step 8.. lols.. maybe there will be some ppl thts like super lucky.. jackpot toto 20million.. lols.. but chances are like 0.000001 % ? hahas.. work hard for ur success.. dun aim far.. just aim to step 2.. then when u're at step 2.. aim step 3.. yea.. slow and steady man.. soon u will reach step 8.. my lecturer said this to me.. "dun work hard,work smart" , " If you wanna fly like an eagle, stay away from the turkeys,because,TURKEYS CANT FLY " , " U Learn now .. when u go out to society, take away the L in Learn , u Earn =) " he kinda motivated me to do better in my life.. and well..

i Chose to take this path , once a decision is made , there's no turning back.. so ben =) dun be sad.. lol.. im talking to myself! wtf

getting over

2006-07-31T22:51:00.000+08:00

thanks cus for coming out though u said u are mia-ing .. lol..unhappiness is a part of life.. but once its over.. forget it.. dun look back.. look forward.. i will look forward to my goals in life =) get over the things tht happened recently and move on with life.. as a friend.. im hope u will get happiness frm him too =) been talking to quite alot of ppl... realised life is never fair.. some may be good looking some may be not gd looking.. some fat some skinny.. some might attached but unhappy while some might be unattached but happy and vice versa.. blabla~~ taken frm a show " time doesnt make u understand a person.. 7 years doesnt mean i understand u alot.. " so nvr say i noe u for so long sure understand u..hahas.. cause u nvr noe.. u dont.. i've set my goals.. i will achieve it slowly.. and all of it.. =)

im nt ok

2006-07-30T01:59:00.000+08:00

i laugh cause i dun wanna cry... i smile cause i dun wanna sigh.. ppl say.. god always lets u meet many wrong ppl.. before meeting the right one.. so you will know hw to cherish her when u meet her.. oh god.. can u feel wad im feeling? i lost my appetite.. i lost my sense of direction.. i walk aimlessly.. i feel like a drifting soul now.. empty inside.. why ... its always like 1 year + .. den nxt.. something will happen to me.. something thts so hurting.. the cut is deep.. i dun feel the pain on my skin.. cause.. the pain inside me.. is much worst.. brought this upon myself.. im a dumb fucker.. cant even let a girl noe that i like her.. dun even have the fucking courage to talk.. and i say i can talk well.. with every setback u gain an experience.. yea sure i did.. i always did gain something.. like gain knowledge of how a bloody stupid idiot i am.. and after tht i will tink to myself.. if only time can be turned back.. if only.. wtf man.. frm e first time.. all of them.. the pain.. the memories.. will follow me forever.. sometimes.. once its too late.. there's really nth u can do.. some truths will never come to light.. i don understood any of them.. i never did.. i dun even understand myself.. i lost myself.. im jus an empty shell nw.. i really cant take it anymore... if im gone.. find me by the beach.. my soul shall be the breeze.. my blood shall be the sea.. i really lost myself .. hais

now and forever

2006-07-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

Now and forever
I will be your man

If you let me be =/

lost my appetite
lost my breath
lost myself
lost YOU

hais

2006-07-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

feng..
HAISsssss...

lol

first time

2006-07-24T00:47:00.000+08:00

di yi chi
first time i said i like u ... my breath stopped but my heart trembled
first time i held ur hands .. lost my directions , didnt noe where to go
first time i kissed u.. my breath trembled and my heart stopped

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw2L5nHpRz4&NR

this vid nt bad.. self edited.. and quite nice.. hahs.. ok im bored.. lols.. gonna study tmr =x
im working hard! although life is getting abit tired recently.. =/

lala

2006-07-21T00:38:00.000+08:00

lols.. 2nd week of sch den pon twice alr.. hahs.. but sch quite fun la.. getting to noe more ppl.. hahs.. and my bloody group for all e projects is a freaky group la.. cause e group is filled with freaky ppl like me.. hahas.. starting tot .. wa sians all guys group.. but nw.. our group ppl considered the closer groups amongst class.. woots.. and its fun.. hahahaha.. on e way back jus nw.. met pri sch fren.. lol.. den talk like super long lost frens.. got to know frm him tht my pri sch batch gonna organise bbq.. lols.. will be like another fun activity.. hahas.. suddenly realise i gt quite alot of frens! hahas.. and one last thing.. shir.. IM REALLY 17 !!!!

only one

2006-07-19T11:02:00.000+08:00

new song on blog - only one by yellowcard

Only One

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

best teacher!

2006-07-18T23:27:00.000+08:00

lol.. went to sch quite early today.. but went to eat b4 class.. in e end late -.- den class was super full.. had to sit in front... dots.. anyway.. daniel tan is COOL .. hahas.. best lecturer.. lol.. teaches rather differently frm other teachers... and he teaches us how to play stocks.. lol.. follow him n be rich ass.. hahs..

time flew past and gone.. but u'll always remain there .. in here..

lol

2006-07-17T01:32:00.000+08:00

ok ... in my class.. i dun look local .. dun look 17 and look like a smoker... lol.. bought my shoes today.. lol.. thanks cus.. hafta go sch later.. sians.. and only e 2nd week nia.. lol.. i wanna wear contacts =/

oh man

2006-07-16T03:09:00.000+08:00

things tht are related to u somehow keep appearing beside me.. or rite in front of me.. lol.. numbers,names,things.. whenever i see or hear.. let me rmb u.. lol.. isit u're on my thoughts so much tht things related to u keep appearing.. hahs.. and its getting freaky.. lol.. turn my head.. exactly e numbers.. lols.. but .. no use saying ba.. we r drifting apart alr =/ nw its sch more important.. hahs.. watched dead man's chest today.. quite a nice show.. guess the 3rd episode will be quite interesting.. lol.. shall wait for Long Hu Men to come out.. sounds and seems like a superb action show.. lol...

lala

2006-07-15T01:31:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. dun say things tht curses u urself or cursing the relationship between u and ur fren.. cause one day.. it might jus come true... because.. i tink.. mine jus came true.. and.. it isnt really a gd thing.. hahs..

heys girl.. i cant take my eyes of you
只不过想好好的爱一次啊 ..
给我你的爱

only one

2006-07-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

can u let me read wads inside

2006-07-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes.. i jus wanna msg u.. but ... suddenly.. i pick up my fone.. key in ur number.. and i got stucked at the msg part.. sometimes.. really stucked for 5 - 10 minutes.. dunno wad to send.. but i really wanna msg u.. hahs.. i miss the old us.. maybe one day god will let me noe wad a girl is thinking ... wad she wants .. wad she dunwans.. and FYI: psychologist isnt someone tht can read ur mind.. its someone tht can link to something from the things that u think.. its just someone that interprets ur thoughts.. and they arent reading ur mind.. hahas..

GONE

2006-07-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

Yeeaah....

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone

Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oohhh...

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..

But the truth remains
You're....

im craps

2006-07-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

hahs.. sch started.. lost my pool comp on sunday.. nt very sad or wad.. some experience gain.. today sch.. quite funny la.. on e way to sch.. took 89.. then was like quite urgent nature's call already.. then reach hougang inter.. wanted go toilet first.. but scared miss my bus.. so din go.. later on 74.. i realised i forgot the journey was like 1 hour +++ ... and so.. WAS LIKE SUPER URGENT.. burst anytime.. lol.. but in the end alight bus rushed to sch's toilet la... didnt pee on my pants.. class quite big.. 70+ ppl.. but still ok.. can concentrate.. hahas... new place .. new friends.. new classmates.. hahs.. though i always advise frens bout relationship , life .. bla bla.. when it comes to myself.. im real craps.. hahs.. im always stucked within myself.. u brought me up to the top.. then u pushed me down all the way.. i cant stand up already?? .. cant pick myself up.. im trying like super hard to erase some memories.. but.. i really cant? like in those drama shows.. they walk back to the place tht they went b4 with ppl tht left them memories.. kinda appear in their mind? .. everytime i go past the place we went b4.. i can really sense it.. our existence thr b4.. hahs.. im trying to keep myself happy and i hate being alone at night at home.. cause i tend to think?.. hahs.. im mad when im with friends.. make myself laugh like crazy.. laugh n laugh.. but after laughter... everything goes back to normal.. i dunno whr am i in u.. do u still take me as ur gd fren? or even a fren.. hahs.. things have changed.. i enjoyed the times with u.. really did.. hope u did.. hahs.. but nw.. like an invisible barrier?.. lol.. i cant reach out to u anymore.. u and i now are like from different worlds.. and even hw hard i try to reach out to u.. u dun seem to even wanna talk to me.. hahs.. is this e end for us? u say u dun wanna lose e frenship.. but .. u also dun seem to do anything to make this frenship last? hahs.. i dun even noe wad you're thinking already.. i dun even noe whether am i ur fren... or jus.. another person tht stepped into ur life.. and left.........

zen vision~~

2006-07-05T02:06:00.000+08:00

oh man.. would love to get a zen vision asap.. hahas.. 629 bucks.. after offer.. dots.. pretty ex.. but .. super nice.. hahs.. can watch movie + music.. comp is coming up this weekends.. 500 bucks here i come.. lol.. - I Just Love DupeX - =) I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

priority

2006-06-23T00:35:00.000+08:00

sch gonna start.. time to really prioritise my things... and study shall and will be the thing to prioritise.. shall put games and play down for awhile.. lessen the time in them.. i dun wanna lose a second chance to study! hahas.. did real bad for o's .. something to let me realise where i am.. im getting nowhere if i follow my old studyin pattern.. hahs.. relationship , games , pool ... nah... not at this very point of time yet.. hafta concentrate.. hahas.. i wanna change myself.. into a person i truly hope i will be =)

new blog

2006-06-22T04:37:00.000+08:00

after editing my own skin for some time.. its finally done.. hahas.. my very own skin.. did abit of shifting here and there.. decided to bring over the old posts ... jus leavin old format behind.. hahs.. lots of thoughts recently.. as usual actually.. hahs.. ups and downs of life.. pretty sure now is my downs though =x but anyway.. ups follow the downs.. looking forward to it.. hahas.. im getting quiet recently.. but im alright =) at least i hope and i think that i am.. hahs..

almost love

2006-06-21T17:29:00.000+08:00

wenta watch almost love with shi and feng.. hahs.. pretty funny korean love comedy.. talking bout this 2 frens noe each other for more than 10 years ... then.. aiya pretty long.. dunno hw to xplain.. lol.. but well.. some phrases in e show quite nice.. " e world is different to someone who is in love " - " Liking somebody is the least productive thing to do cause it doesnt give u food or money " - " in a stable or good relationship , its always more giving than taking . " and alot more but only rmb this 3.. hahas.. life nt getting any better recently.. days slowly pass.. rotting.. dad going back on fri.. then will be dreading for sch to start.. my life is getting boring by the days.. nth interests me anymore ........

back frm tw

2006-06-16T17:24:00.000+08:00

back frm taiwan.. hahas.. well.. pretty ok trip.. din shop alot though.. the trip was like a dream =x now back in singapore.. things pretty went back to normal.. i mean back to the past.. hahs.. wasnt really feeling gd after tht.. went to thon with shi , feng , cus at sento.. the towers at palawan.. hahas.. well.. pretty fun.. stare at the sea .. mind full of questions and why here why there.. didnt even felt like talking.. hahs.. but later when alcohol came.. hahas.. WELL... made me talk.. all e shit and craps came out.. lols.. nt bad.. at least felt better.. hahas.. shi was like i should be the moody one hw come u worst than me?! hahahaha.. anyway.. first round beer.. then all still ok.. then went to buy again.. lol.. 2nd round.. felt more relaxed.. hahaha.. then ltr went skinny dipping with shi.. lol.. pretty cool and nice.. nobody around and just go down the sea.. feeling a little tipsy.. super relaxing.. and FENG!! i noe u were looking at us.. those eyes of yours.... hAHAHaha.. then nxt day.. dad kinda saw i got things on my mind.. ask me gt xing shi isit.. then in the end.. after some talking to me.. hahs.. machiam magic words ... i felt ALOT better.. then he brought me to this Terminal Bar at changi ferry terminal there... pretty nice ambience.. beside the sea.. then ordered some finger food.. drank beer .. hahas.. 3 jars.. lol.. bill came and was like 84 bucks!? .. pretty ex.. but it was quite an enjoyable experience.. drinking with dad! hahaha.. anyway.. im like ok now... bros.. im fINE..!! hahahahaha... i nt as noisy as last time dun mean sth wrong with me or wad la.. just .. dun really feel like talking sometimes.. haha.. im RESERVED ok.. hahahahaha.. cant imagine life without u all la.. especially my dad! =) and my v v v gd fren! HahaHahaha... Sch gonna start soon.. a new environment.. new frens.. new sch.. new syllabus.. but same old me =D .. except the lazy part... trying uber hard to change it! hahas..

hrmss

2006-06-06T03:21:00.000+08:00

dad coming back in 5 hours time.. hahs.. dunno why cant get to slp.. slpt 2 hours and woke.. somehow.. i shud be real xcited to go tw.. hahas.. however.. dunno why.. or isit over excited alr.. lol.. cut my hair today.. sis said hair look like girl -.- .. kinda wierd hair anyway.. hahas.. sry buds.. ur hols den i nt in sg spoiled some plans =x.. anyway! .. i shall be back to hear good news frm shiwei =) and hope feng is safe fer his diving trip.. lol.. ( dun sacrifice for our secret! ) hahahahahahaa.. anyway.. cus.. spend money wisely =) changed a new song on blog... kinda emotional.. listen alr think bout my grandmother =/ hahs.. im hungry .. AGAIN! =((

sudden tot

2006-05-26T23:34:00.000+08:00

listless days.. hahs.. sudden tot came.. if im gone one day.. will u tink of me?? lol.. i mean like.. the person tht cared for me isnt here anymore.. hahs.. well.. i cant change wad u think but i can change wad i do.. i'll always be there =)

i tot all was fine

2006-05-15T02:59:00.000+08:00

hais.. nt a perfect day... i tot all was fine.. till the money prob came.. caught in the middle... but if was me.. i will wanna give money also.. so i understand tht side.. den on the other side... will be like i ask u go then ask u pay.. then also agar understand tht side.. THEN IM STUCKED IN E MIDDLE!! oh man.. if only one could jus give in.......... or accept the opposite's offer..... oh man.. bonkers.. was still talkin bout e itenary then suddenly ... lol..

I think for u both.. i noe both have got their own reasons.. but.. i dunno who to stand with..??
But.. got think for me ?! can understand me??? ...

and LOL!!! FENG IS AFRAID OF TOADS!!! WAHAHAHAHA... Feng.. u die!! nxt year april fools day~~ lalala.. MOONWALK MY FRIEND!! lols... oh man.. super duper funny!! lets do da moonwalk together~~

predator!!

2006-05-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

thats me and shiwei with PREDATOR!!
IT COSTS $16,000 AND ITS SO COOL! lol

recently ... im SUPER BROKE!! OH MAN...
money is some big issue...

Hey girl i wanna catch your wave =)

new mtv

2006-05-10T04:12:00.000+08:00

new song - new mtv too.. damn.. extreme is cool =D more than words is sang by extreme originally.. long hair singer and guitarist.. woooo.. cool ..

o.O Dreams!

2006-05-08T15:13:00.000+08:00

oh man.. continuous dreams do happen!! lol.. and oh man.. if only dreams come true ........ hahahahas... same girl and shud be same place..lols..!! oh man.. going mad! hahahahahaha..

stress

2006-05-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

many times i wanna tell u... but to no avail... i suck !

oh man.. today... super tired alr.. then came 2 diff sides.. im in the middle?! i dunno anything and like i just blinked.. things changed..

thoughts flowed in.. hopefully it doesnt happen.. hais... erm i dunno la.. can i dun care?? erm.. keeping too much secrets is hard.. im already dying..

SUPER looking forward to finding dad !! need a breather.. i wanna rest !!

If i went into coma will ppl come trying to help me wake??

super freaky tired~

afraid

2006-05-01T08:56:00.000+08:00

Afraid to love. The wound's so deep.. it hurts... WHERES MY SURGEON!?

tears

2006-04-29T04:51:00.000+08:00

changed the song.. tears in heaven rocks..lol..

If i should die today - Remember me as i was yesterday

changing

2006-04-16T02:30:00.000+08:00

hmm... i feel myself changing =/ or i've already changed.. not the same old ben ? hahs.. getting more n more quiet? or isit nth fer me to talk bout anymore.. hahas.. i can type.. but i cant talk.. lol.. im mad.. lols.. take me in sim!! i will be top student there! lols.. and awaiting to start a better lifestyle there =/

im not me

2006-04-15T03:45:00.000+08:00

hais.. today had been a wierd day fer me.. maybe cause guilty conscience! lols... feel so bad la.. the fliers.. i didnt do a good job... lol.. today.. went out pool.. shi brought din along.. hahas.. felt good tht at least one of my buddies got like a good relationship? or at least i hope they have =) .. today at paradigm... felt so unlike me....? suddenly alot vulgar.. and SUPER alot.. lols.. and talk super duper loud.. den like.. i suddenly felt like.. erm.. i kinda felt your presence? den like.. erm i tot u were nearby then keep looking around?!?! oh man.. hahas.. anyway... im not the person u always see me as... though i present myself differently when im out with u ... but at least i present myself nicer! lols.. when with buddies im like.. erm.. a loud and joker kinda person.. lol.. but when out with u tend to be more ... SHY! lols... not shy la actually.. like... erm... a very more serious kinda friendship?? hahahahhaa... or am i thinking too much again... but ya.. im actually a joker person la... ALOT PPL KNOW THAT! hahahahahha... anyway... i cherish frens... glad to have u in my life =) seems like recently alls getting quiet too.. u're getting busy.. but ya.. school life =/ or maybe i too used to sms or talk to u? hahs... as wad i say to jas.. ADAPT TO CHANGES... lol... im adapting =)

=)

2006-04-06T09:53:00.000+08:00

hrms... past 2 days.. think again... but today .. woke up with a smile! =) .. guess i kinda sorted out my thoughts.. hahs.. and yea... i really did think alot the past few days.. lol.. im fine =)

new blogskin!!

2006-04-03T21:23:00.000+08:00

hahahas.. jus uploaded new skin.. looks cool... a very lonely skin.. hahs.. dampens mood

i dunno how

2006-04-03T03:35:00.000+08:00

been awhile since i blogged.. hahas... 3.34am. cant slp... wake up listen songs.. lol.. hais.. alot of questions on my mind.. but... why am i thinking bout this questions.. lol.. though dun think too much is better.. but.. hahs... sometimes i think.. im a super fortunate person.. family.. friends.. maybe some ppl say no gf then wun be complete.. but well.. i got 2 out of 3!! so should be very happy alr.. hahs.. been a long time since i stepped into bgr.. hahs.. me n marcus always say.. aiya.. let fate decide.. if got then got lo dun have den dun have.. hahs.. but inside.. i noe we dun really feel tat way.. let fate decide = wait for girl jio u.. lols.. then we said.. last time stress over relationship probs cause cant jio until our target... now? hahs... like no target?!?! hahahas.. even now ... if i really like this girl.. i dunno how? hahas... i really dunno how to even jio??.. how to xpress myself.. i dunno how and why.. i just cant talk to girls the way i talk to my frens.. HAHA.. like... erm.. im SHY!.. lols... hais.. cheer up BEN!! Lols.. im mad.. k.. well... suddenly towards bgr thing alot of gan chu.. jipalang all come out.. hahahaha... uploading a mtv on my blog.. v nice and touching =/ k i dun feel like ending this blog.. im real bored.. lols.. always hear this phrase .. Cherish your loved ones.. i really DO cherish my family and friends... hahahas.. though i said i got 2 out of 3 things in my life.. should be v happy.. but..... sometimes.. alone at night.. i can feel the loneliness?.. hahas.. but cause of this ... make me even cherish my family and friends MORE.. hahas.. alone at night.. family n frens all slping... become like.. erm.. 0 out of 3?? then suddenly will think like.. somethings missing..? hahas... but.. cant do much about it also... hahas.. OH.!!! suddenly rmbed a powerpoint slide my dad sent me.. super duper nice.. meaningful ba.. was something about life.. then like.. wow.. real cool..hahas.. there was a sentence i rmb quite well... " The Really Lucky People Do Not Necessarily have the best of everything ; They are the one who make the most of whatever life throws at them " hahas.. so dun everytime think ppl so lucky here n there! lols!!.. " Life " is something that gives things to u... it can give u happiness .. sadness.. jealousy.. blabla.. sometimes ppl say.. man he no life.. lols.. but actually.. he Has a life.. just that maybe his life isnt as interesting as urs?? yea.. hahas... im basically crapping .. erm.. another sentence also.. "When a Door Closes, Another one opens , but often we stand there so long looking at the closed door , that we do not see that one thats' opened." hahas.. familiar right.. but thinking bout it.. is it really true?.. hahas.. somemore nw.. i dun even noe which door is open which door is closed for me -.-" hahs.. suddenly feel like last time.. when i was young.. hahas.. keep thinking of having bgr.. machiam despo.. lol.. i really feel liddat now suddenly.. lols.. but ya.. i noe its dumb.. maybe nw grow up? hahahahaha... but well.. guess this kinda things cant be rushed.. recently very mentally tired... hahs.. been thinking LOTS n LOTS.. lol.. sometimes i really wanna find a person to talk.. i got LOTS to say.. hahs.. but really no one to llisten to me in the middle of the night.. hahas... got ar.. marcus!! without u at weekends i will die.. lols.. too much things in the brain then will xplode.. hahahahaha... man im tired... real tired... mentally... hais.. god can u let me sleep? sleep and forget wads on my mind completely.. hahahas... sometimes i will think also.. who are the frens that really care fer me and take me as a close fren to them... even though i can say they are my close frens.. but i dunno to them i am not.. hahs.. then will think.. maybe when i die.. then i can see.. hahahahas.. will they come crying?? lol.. k im really thinking too much.. lols.. actually life is simple.. just that people make it complicated.. by THINKING TOO MUCH... like me liddat... kumgong.. LoLs.. oh another sentence in the powerpoint slide... "Do not look at physical appearances, they can be deceiving. Do not look at riches, For they are only temporary.Look for someone who makes you smile. Because sometimes it only takes a smile to brighten a very dark day. Look for someone who makes ur heart sing." hahas.. hw nice.. lol.. but the world is practical.. hahas.. u look good + you're rich.. normally u can get things easily.. ppl like me.. hahs.. cant use my looks and riches to get my things.... =/ but i can make ppl smile! hahs... i tink.. though it says look fer someone tht makes ur heart sings... but u do not noe whether the person that make ur heart sings.. whether their heart sings too! lols.. how? hahaha... hais.. after tinking n saying so much.. 4.20am.. lols.. Hui you na me yi tian by Lin Junjie is damn nice! lols.. my brains are like super tired nw.. hahas.. bye

new skin

2006-03-15T13:16:00.000+08:00

ah man.. finally those blisters are gone... now new skin formed... woohoo~~.. lols.. kena awaken by reroofing works.. den wake liao they stopped!! (!@#!$&( hahas.. im bored..

omg after effects

2006-03-13T03:34:00.000+08:00

ah man... now my back.. its FREAKING disgusting.. those blisters all popping out.. omg... its gross.. Look at it... that was when i squeezed my back... those blisters came popping.. omg

damn.. im so dam dam afraid it might stay like this... plz plz.. get rid of it from me!!.. geez.. gross...

k.. enough of gross stuff.. lols.. today shi said to me.. he say "ben.. we very failure lei.." then obvious is cause of gf stuff... last time used to think tat too.. no stead fer so long.. kaos.. even those tat impossible to have gf oso have gf liao.. lols.. now thinking back..its a big .. NAH.. now i think.. since no gf = failure.. but got gf doesnt dun make u a failure... if really u dun have the fate.. the luck to meet ur future gf.. den u dun have it.. mian qiang shi mei you xing fu de.. lols.. so i guess.. i shall just wait... hahahahahahaha.. anyway... I WANNA GET RID OF THOSE STUFF ON MY BACK NOW!! OMG!! HELPPPPPPPP

AHH PAIN!

2006-03-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! i now got a phoebia on lasers... dam its so dam dam pain.. starting at the treatment is just like needle poking.. its the freaking after effects... i felt like kena burned alive.. den pain until u cant do anything... finally rushed hm from hospital and applied tons of ice on my back... finally NOW then better le.. almost 8 hours after treatment den ok... oh man.. still nid go for alot of follow ups... scary~.. lols.. then last night dreamt sth funny.. or wierd.. or nice ?.. haAhahA.. i dreamt i was out for a meal with my dad and my buddies and 2 girls.. lol.. den in the end i ended the dream with me going steady with one of them and was so happy in my dream... HAHAHA... woke up.. and my nightmare for the day began... the laser treatment -.- ..

lonely

2006-03-09T04:30:00.000+08:00

lols... went to the dxn seminar today with cousin.. not bad la.. prospects to be rich in thr ... somemore got live examples.. so i will strive it big !hahahaha.. anyway.. went to pool alone... so boring... den went hme.. on e way.. saw a couple... so nice.. the way they talked.. so.. really so like xing fu.. haha.. i can hear the happiness in them.. lols.. how i wish.. let there just be a girl out there just to be able to understand me.. to feel fer me.. i dun nid a miss singapore or some super da mei nu.. lols.. i just nid a somebody to take that place in my heart.. hahas.. its empty now.. lol.. hais.. lonely me~ lols.. dun get da wrong meaning! IM NOT DESPO! lols... just nid someone to be there fer me =D..Be it GoodFrens or If lucky.. maybe a gf? hahahahaha... im thinking too much... Zhi Dui Ni Shuo by Lin Jun Jie is nice! .. all go dl.. haha.. [ Sa Rang Hae Yo ~ Means I Love You ]

long time no post

2006-03-08T01:47:00.000+08:00

its been a long while.. hahas.. firstly.. IM IN SIM!! lol..taking diploma for management studies .. dam its cool... the campus is nice.. and lots of nice ppl..haha.. still can rmb a few days ago.. on the verge of breaking down.. didnt noe bout the SIM choice.. tot had to go overseas.. so many things i cant leave behind.. tht day... saw a blind man in orchard.. trying to cross e road.. the traffic light was red when he started walking... but once he walked 2 steps.. it turned GREEN!! den we were like OMG!!.. but too far away frm him... lucky got this motorcyclist HORNed and HORNed and HORNed... to stop other cars from moving forward.. lols.. PHEW~ den another lady ran forward to help him... after that thing.. we one group continued walking ... but all went into silence.. maybe they were thinkin same as me?.. my first tots were.. how lucky am i... i can see.. den i imagined if i couldnt see anything... dam its such a torture.. u cant see ur loved ones.. ur close frens.. ur girlfren or the girl u admired or the girl of ur dreams .. lols.. i was like.. i suddenly felt they were so SO SO important to me.. [ honoured to be my fren hor?! ] lols.. anyway.. ya.. in life we keep taking things for granted.. until when the things happen to u.. u will noe the big word REGRET .. den u will come out with sentences starting with " If Only " .. so if u think u are not doing things right now.. better change it or else... CONSEQUENCES U BEAR [ quoted frm audrey chong.. ] hahas.. after o level hoohaa~~ results and posting blabla~~ maybe finally this blow was big enough for me to have the determination and the will to study... i fared bad fer o's .. and i kept thinking why didnt i study when i had the chance to.. now its all too late to do my o's .. unless i retake.. but i really dun wanna retake... so in the end i ended up in SIM..haha.. well good oso.. now that i got e determination and will... I WILL STUDY HARD!! lols.. i cant afford to fail again in my future education thingys... lols... anyway.. today was quite good day fer me.. met shiwei at 8am went to 4 diff poly to appeal for e sake of appealing... then went to SIM to register... dam the poly campus are so cool.. its big and environment so good.. lols.. " if only " i studied harder i will be in there.. hahas... when i went to appeal.. all the IT courses COP was lowered ... then i was like ... dots.. den i appeal for wad.. not eligible at all -.- ... nvm... audrey chong ask me be kiasu abit try appeal all.. lols.. mrs chong's kiasu attitude.. haha.. but shes a nice teacher.. lols... anyway.. after SIM , went to paradigm ... saw mich's frens.. lols.. nth much for e day.. came home and slacked... hahas.. long post ...
note for readers : Cherish ur Loved ones... put a smile on your face.. tell them u love them.. hahas..

happy cny =D

2006-02-01T04:07:00.000+08:00

its chu si.. lols.. happy cny to all.. lols.. jus came back frm msia.. had fun.. lols.. now 4.09am.. cant even slp.. stupid aircon isnt cold~.. lols.. i jus realised my dream =D happy cny to all again.. hope angbaos have lots.. hahas.. cheers